the universal nod of brotherhood

Last week my White roommate and I went to Albertson's to get a few grocery items. No sooner than we passed the threshold of the door, a Black bagger standing by greeted us with a "What's up?". My roommate failed to respond, because he's deaf and was unaware that anyone had spoken to us. I returned his "What's up?" but he didn't hear my response. I knew he didn't hear cause he raised his voice and insisted "What's up, brotha?" I'm thinking… why-the-fuck you do have to put emphasis on brotha? I repeated my original response, but it came out saturated in annoyance. I could feel his glare. I turned to look at him as we continued to walk, he was pissed. The look on his face made it clear that he thought I was a racist. In his mind, I had failed to acknowledge that we are both Black, which is an unforgivable offense. Every time I see him from now on, I will always be the brotha with the White friends, who hates Black people. I was miserable the entire time we shopped because I knew I was going to have to see him when we left and face his condemning glare. Sure enough, he eyeballed my ass all-the-way out of the store. I wanted to yell "I SAID IT THE FIRST TIME! I'M NOT AGAINST YOU!"

When I was a youngster, my dad used to take my brothers, my sister and me to the park every Saturday afternoon. It was a community tradition, many of the Black fathers in the neighborhood brought their kids to the park. The adults played basketball while us young ones took total advantage of the freedom from adult supervision. That's where I first saw the universal nod of brotherhood in action. There's an unspoken, yet accepted practice amongst Black men, requiring us to acknowledge one another when passing each other in public. I know it's true that men, and women, of all races commonly acknowledge each other on a human-to-human level, but there is a sense of obligation for this to occur amongst Black men in particular. The failure to acknowledge offense can be compared to saying "FUCK YOU".

stacking the deck

With all the new changes in my life (namly the new job and future move to the valley as discussed in the previous post), I think it’s about time for me to start fresh all together.

Butt has been calling me all week trying to set up our next meeting, but finals and other stress has kept me busy. Besides, it’s time for some new buddies anyway. The valley is too far to keep my current flings alive. Truthworthy might be the only exception as he is superbly talented when he is on his knees. He came over last week to remind me of exactly why I continue to see him semi-regularly.

The whole idea of this move has been the catalyst for brainstorming and planning for my future. I’m now starting to save for my first home, my retirement plan is finally getting some attention, and my debt will be accounted for fairly soon as well. So what’s missing? A life partner.

I must admit that I have been avoiding personal relationships in favor of carefree sex and a reliable group of friends. This has worked well for me during the last few years which follows the demise of my relationship with The roommate. We were together for 3 years, and somehow during that short stint, my skepticism has increased tremendously. I have to avoid catching feelings, because I tend to fall too easily- and once I’m in love… I’m like puddy. The problem is that too often I fall for the wrong guys (and girls here and there) and end up on the floor clutching my chest trying to alleviate the heart palpitations. That gets old. I’d rather not trust anyone, which has been a viable solution until now. I want a personal connection again.

Am I ready for that? Time will tell.

Since everything is about the future now, I’m not going to finish the story of
truthworthy and the roommate as it no longer defines my situation. Instead, I’m going to look forward to searching for a life partner, enjoying new fuck buds along the way.

the horizon

It's been a busy week me for as finals approach rapidly. I haven't been able to be social at all, with all of the work on my plate. Usually, I look forward to summer and find my peace in a few weeks of doing the absolute minimal. That will not be possible this time around, because I just got a new job that will require me to move to the valley. The job is great, I will more than double my income, and it's a challenging position. So I'll spend my summer commuting to work and looking for a suitable place to live… without the roommate.

My departure from the roommate comes with a surprisingly strong feeling of anxiety. The ties will finally be broken. Still, I know this is long overdue.

On to something new…

I'm going to be introducing sLaveLips the podcast fairly soon. In fact, I planned to put up the first episode last weekend but, in the true fashion of an amateur, I broke the mic input on my laptop. My BRAND NEW laptop! I started working with a standard microphone, but I found that the base in my voice was so strong that my speech was undecipherable. So I played with the audio settings in Sony's Acid Music Studio to adjust it, but it was obvious that the mic wasn't working correctly in the first place. So, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to try and plug in the microphone that I bought for my Mac G4 tower, which is a powered mic. I didn't notice that the jack bit was about a quarter of an inch longer than the standard size, so I just shoved it into my pc like an idiot. The THROB THROB THROB sound told me that something wasn't quite right. Anyway, now I'll be working with garageband on the Mac, so look forward to that.

Now as if my own little world is't enough, I also have to keep a close eye on our president who has apparently lost his mind in suggesting that his brother, Jeb Bush, run for President in 2008. The last time I checked, we didn't have a Royal Family in America. Gay people beware, when the campaign season comes around, your rights will be targeted again, just to gain popularity amongst red state voters who will have forgotten the atrocities of this administration.